Happy Birthday, Nicholas!!

An open letter to my 10 year old son for his birthday

Dear Nicholas-
I would so much love to be at the park, at the bowling alley, in a movie theater, whatever it is that what you want to do today, with you for your birthday.  I can't even talk to you on the phone.  I've been calling for a year, and your father will not answer the phone.  Now in the last few months, your grandpa and grandma Mickelson refuse to answer the phone for me anymore either.  I have no idea if you're getting the things I am sending for you.  I have no idea what you are hearing about me- no clue.

I love you more than anything in life Nicholas.  I can't understand why adults are working so very hard to keep me, your mother, from having anything at all to do with your life! Your father is in a lot of trouble from the courts for not staying in touch with me, or rather, letting me stay in touch with you.  And at some time, I will be taking him to court and making him pay his due.  He doesn't realize how badly what he is doing is hurting you.  It is not only me Nicholas.  There are many people who would dearly love to see you, speak to you, be involved in your life- your grandma and grandpa Porath, your grandma and grandpa Landing, your grandma and grandpa Nicholas, your great grandma Nicholas, David, all of your aunts and cousins from mom's side (Remember, mom has three sisters who have kids of their own too. They live very very close to where you are, if you are still in Sioux City.)

I went and sat at the hospital where you were born today.  I was thinking what I was doing exactly 10 years ago.  Not ever in a million years would I have guessed that I would have no communication whatsoever with the very son whom I was giving birth to.  If I ever had an idea that that was going to happen, I would have left your dad while I was still pregnant with you and we would have went out and lived with David, and David and I would have raised you together as our son.

I love you Nicholas.  Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you are happy.

Love you always,
Mom