6-6-29

I have already written a much longer version of this, but once again it just disappeared!  So I'm going to go with short & sweet. 

I asked David to come to me last night & tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do. I woke up this morning with a thought I have never thought in my entire life. I thought "There is going to be a time in the future where you're not going to be able to commit suicide or it will be much more difficult, so if you're going to do it you better do it now or you'll be sorry".  Like if I went on, something bad was going to happen & I would be very upset because it would be much more difficult when/where I haopened to be at that time. 

Who was that?  Was that David? Was that a demon posing as David? Was it my imagination?  I've never had any type of thought like that at all in my life. Now I don't know what to think. All I know is I asked David a question and for him to come to me and answer it.  I woke up with an answer that I had never before  even thought of. 

That's it.  I'm not going to write anything else, because I'm afraid it will be deleted. 

5.16.13 post re: Nico

Sometimes in life there is a door that you keep approaching, over and over.  You knock, waiting for an answer, either to just chat, or perhaps you have brought them a housewarming gift.  By all appearances, the door 'seems' like it should be friendly, but you repeatedly end up leaving the door, perplexed.  Sometimes it isn't opened at all.  Sometimes it is opened and slammed back in your face.  Sometimes a foot comes out of the door and kicks you right in the gut.  Sometimes it opens just a little, but you see nor hear anything at all.  Sometimes it opens and you hear a recording, playing back and reminding you of every indiscretion of your life.

In the beginning, you would be excited to approach the door, in anticipation of not knowing what will happen, but always thinking and hoping for the best.  After some time, you have grown a bit wary of the door, as you can feel it sapping your energy and good intentions.  But you put on your game face, and once again approach, always hoping for the best.  After a bit longer, you really don't want to approach it anymore, but still, every once in awhile, you get your hopes up and try.  Finally, after so long, you have gotten to the point where you don't even approach the door anymore.  You avoid the house, and the road it is on entirely, and just take a different route.  The door has repeatedly disregarded your feelings.  

Instead, you knock on another door.  One that is much more receptive.  More happy to have you there.  You haven't forgot about the first door altogether.  Instead, you have just decided to spend your time and energies with the second door.  It hurts much less at the second door.  

And it is only then that the first door wonders why you don't come around anymore.

Thoughts/Queries/Truths 7.13.19

The absence of sadness does not necessarily equal happiness.

One man's tragedy is another man's every day normal.

Instant Expert, courtesy of Google Search!

Why is it that leaves are at their most beautiful when they are dying?

Turtle Island in English
Keya Makoce in Lakota

We do not let politics or the perception of others dictate how we live our lives. ©
-David Reiss, circa 2016-2018

Do you live by Occam's Razor or Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction principal?

The epitome of stubborn stupidity.

There's a reason I don't make plans.  They are always subject to change.

Khoubida- Persian
Spanakopita- Greek

3.29.19
39-32-36 measurements

Don't let life pass you by while you're making plans for the next thing that you won't do.

The time for vinegar has passed.  Now is the time for honey.

Nobody has ever written a book while taking Topamax.

Nobody has ever been a serial rapist while on Methadone.

The two different ways men & women look at their fingernails.

Being angry at the world is not a reason to talk rudely (talk smack) to your partner.

Women who can't walk in high heels shouldn't.

Truths
Mexicans like big SUVs

Blacks like Cadillacs, especially Escalades

Indians (India 🇮🇳) always wear sandals, no matter how cold out it is. 

Rich people don't give a fuck about recycling. All they look forward to is THEIR bank account in THEIR lifetime. They don't even think (read: care) about how their behavior will negatively impact their children's lives.

What is the difference between yoga pants, leggings, and tights?

If you could pick a new name- like let's say you're in the witness protection program & you can pick any name in the world for yourself- what would it be and why?

Getting a Theology Degree at Berkeley vs. Oral Roberts University has to be an extremely different Doctorate of Theology.

How many people go to Theology school not for the purpose of becoming a leader in their particular religion, but instead for the actual education of all religions?  Also, how many people go to Theology school and leave there either A) having become religious, B) having changed religions, or C) having lost religion and become atheist?

If somebody talks TO you ABOUT everybody, be certain that they are also talking TO everybody ABOUT you.  

Bismillah ar rahman ar rahim
Ashahadu anna la illaha illallah
Ashahadu anna Muhammaden abdulu wa rasulu

It is very difficult to trust again once it has been broken.

Lilith- the chic who got thrown out of the garden of eden for rebelling.

What kind of idiot continues to shovel money to a person who openly & outwardly expresses disdain, disgust, & a death wish for their clueless benefactor?

We don't have time for dishonest people.  -Tara Simko

One person's wisdom is another person's blather.  -Ian Plunkett, Coast to Coast

Changing your mind is not a sign of weakness; rather it is most probably a sign of an open mind, further education on the matter, & strength of character.  To be able to say  "I was wrong, and my feelings on that have changed" takes a tremendous amount of dignity.

In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
-George Orwell

What is the difference between visions, hallucinations, dreams, prophecies, imagination, & remote viewing?

I don't blame you Nicholas/Danny.  Your father/mother filled you with poison.

You time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
-Steve Jobs

Doors (posted 5.16.13 on FB)

Sometimes in life there is a door that you keep approaching, over and over.  You knock, waiting for an answer, either to just chat, or perhaps you have brought them a housewarming gift.  By all appearances, the door 'seems' like it should be friendly, but you repeatedly end up leaving the door, perplexed.  Sometimes it isn't opened at all.  Sometimes it is opened and slammed back in your face.  Sometimes a foot comes out of the door and kicks you right in the gut.  Sometimes it opens just a little, but you see nor hear anything at all.  Sometimes it opens and you hear a recording, playing back and reminding you of every indiscretion of your life.

In the beginning, you would be excited to approach the door, in anticipation of not knowing what will happen, but always thinking and hoping for the best.  After some time, you have grown a bit wary of the door, as you can feel it sapping your energy and good intentions.  But you put on your game face, and once again approach, always hoping for the best.  After a bit longer, you really don't want to approach it anymore, but still, every once in awhile, you get your hopes up and try.  Finally, after so long, you have gotten to the point where you don't even approach the door anymore.  You avoid the house, and the road it is on entirely, and just take a different route.  The door has repeatedly disregarded your feelings. 

Instead, you knock on another door.  One that is much more receptive.  More happy to have you there.  You haven't forgot about the first door altogether.  Instead, you have just decided to spend your time and energies with the second door.  It hurts much less at the second door. 

And it is only then that the first door wonders why you don't come around anymore.

Cookie crumbs

Our truest enemy
Much like our most devoted love
Have but one thing in common
They know who we are
Without the politically correct
Societal masks we wear
Trying ever so hard
To actually morph
Into this facade
But never
Ever
Succeeding

This crude raw knowledge
Is precisely
What sets the stage
For the immeasurable love
Or
Murderous hate
In which we feel
For those very few
Whom we know
Unmasked

As a forensic analyst knows
We leave traces
Cookies crumbs
Of our authentic self
In every thing we do
Every post
Every photo
Every comment
Every footstep

Tis better
To be authentic
All the time
Never having to turn
Off or on
If
You can be
THAT
Honest with yourself

If not
Keep wearing your societal mask
Your self imposed chastity belt
But do so
With the knowledge
That evidences of self
Are being scattered
Behind every move you make