Calling customers "liar" is a big no-no

I had a most interesting day yesterday.  Going about the day's errands in my typical professional, pleasant manner, I was straight out called a liar by two businesses.  One of these businesses, I frequent every single day.  The other, I frequent quite often, on an as-needed basis.

The first- we stop every morning (sometimes twice) to get coffee at a local bakery called Yum Yum Donuts, which is a legend here in San Jose.  Their coffee is excellent,  but the one problem is the cups' bottoms wear through extremely fast- sometimes before you get your cup of coffee drank.  We've had this happen a few times, but it's never resulted in a huge problem. Yesterday, it did.  The cup's bottom once again blew out, and hot coffee leaked all over David's phone.

I could have attacked it from a more aggressive angle, demanding that they pay for a new phone.  But I didn't.  I calmly went in and told her what had happened, and asked that when I get a cup of coffee, to please double cup it, as this happens frequently.  Also, if it's happening to us, it's certainly happening to others.  Those people may not be as gracious as I was.  Or, simpler yet, invest a few dollars more and get better cups.

I had taken the cup inside to show her exactly how it blew out.  She looked me straight in the eye and said "You didn't get that cup here this morning".  Me- "Yes, I did.  We got two cups not even an hour and a half ago, you waited on us, and this is one of those cups.  I'm not asking for free coffee, for a new phone nothing.  All I'm asking is that you double cup when I get coffee, so this does not happen again", and she proceeded to argue with me.  How, I wonder, is it that she thought she could tell when the cup was purchased, as every cup they use is plain white with no markings of any kind.  And the fact of the matter was, yes, it was one of the two cups that I had purchased just an hour and a half earlier.  She blatantly called me a liar!  This morning I went in there before she arrived and made the manager aware of the entire incident.

The second- we went into Staples to return a cord to charge our phones' battery.  We had bought this cord one day prior, in that store, and I had the receipt.  We simply told the associate that we had bought this yesterday and it did not work.  He took it right over to some device they have, plugged it in, and said to me defiantly "It works". I said "Well take it out to my truck and plug it in and see how well it works".  By this point, I was a little upset at being called a liar TWO times by people whom we spend money with.  And more so, I could have taken it back (since it was within 30 days, I had the receipt, and all associated packaging) and received a full refund for ANY reason, or no reason at all (e.g. didn't like the color, didn't like the service, changed my mind, anything). 
To add insult to injury, I paid for the product with cash, clearly stated on the receipt, and he refunded me on my debit card!  Well no biggie, since it is already in my account, but that's not the point.  If I pay cash you refund cash, if I pay debit you refund debit, if I pay credit you refund credit- that's how it goes.

So both businesses will be getting a thoroughly worded review of my experience on Yelp this morning.

#1 rule in business- you DON'T piss on and call the people who have made you successful liars.  Keep doing this, and you can lock your doors.

Happy Birthday, Nicholas!!

An open letter to my 10 year old son for his birthday

Dear Nicholas-
I would so much love to be at the park, at the bowling alley, in a movie theater, whatever it is that what you want to do today, with you for your birthday.  I can't even talk to you on the phone.  I've been calling for a year, and your father will not answer the phone.  Now in the last few months, your grandpa and grandma Mickelson refuse to answer the phone for me anymore either.  I have no idea if you're getting the things I am sending for you.  I have no idea what you are hearing about me- no clue.

I love you more than anything in life Nicholas.  I can't understand why adults are working so very hard to keep me, your mother, from having anything at all to do with your life! Your father is in a lot of trouble from the courts for not staying in touch with me, or rather, letting me stay in touch with you.  And at some time, I will be taking him to court and making him pay his due.  He doesn't realize how badly what he is doing is hurting you.  It is not only me Nicholas.  There are many people who would dearly love to see you, speak to you, be involved in your life- your grandma and grandpa Porath, your grandma and grandpa Landing, your grandma and grandpa Nicholas, your great grandma Nicholas, David, all of your aunts and cousins from mom's side (Remember, mom has three sisters who have kids of their own too. They live very very close to where you are, if you are still in Sioux City.)

I went and sat at the hospital where you were born today.  I was thinking what I was doing exactly 10 years ago.  Not ever in a million years would I have guessed that I would have no communication whatsoever with the very son whom I was giving birth to.  If I ever had an idea that that was going to happen, I would have left your dad while I was still pregnant with you and we would have went out and lived with David, and David and I would have raised you together as our son.

I love you Nicholas.  Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope you are happy.

Love you always,
Mom

Schedules

                       ··Gripe of the day··

Two times today we have had medical personnel try to forcefully schedule us for appointments.  No, absolutely not!  They're not allowed to do that.  They have no idea what our schedule is, and with our schedule, more than likely we're already doing one thing (probably two and are double booked) at that very time.  They've tried to forcefully say "you will be here on this date at this time".  No, that's not the way it works.  If you are going to get my money, we are going to mutually agree on a time and place that works for us both.

This second time was without my knowledge- done to David directly at his dialysis clinic by a woman who has done this several times.  She calls and tries to and/or DOES arrange appointments at the VA for him.  The dialysis clinic he goes to and the VA are not connected in any way.  David has never signed an agreement with either allowing conversation between the two.  They are very lucky that I was taking a nap in the car at that particular moment.  Had I not been, I would have went completely crazy on that woman since she has pulled this stunt many times.  The VA apparently has had it with her as well, because they told her "under no circumstances can we schedule appointments for David with you- we need to schedule with him directly", AS IT SHOULD BE!  At his next dialysis appointment, I will be going in there and wanting to see a copy of the agreement he signed (which he never has) allowing conversation between herself and the VA.  This ought to put her in her place and scare her sufficiently, and if not, I will go to her superior.
Unbelievable!!  Two times in one day.  NO NO NO, and NO!!

On Eyebrows

One thing that has stymied me most of my adult life has always been women's eyebrows.  It is unbelievable to me how women spend so much time on their face, hair, clothing, weight management, etc., yet inevitably fail when it comes to eyebrow maintenance.

Take 100 random women (not celebrities, of course, because they can pay people to do their eyebrows professionally and correct) and focus solely on their eyebrows.  You can see how eyebrows either accentuate and frame a face beautifully or take a face and make it look comical, almost clownish. There are several examples of bad eyebrows.  Of course, the unibrow, which thankfully isn't seen very often on women.  The Spock eyebrow, where too much has been taken off both edges of each brow and each eye is left with a centimeter of hair above it.  The angular brow which actually has geometric angles tweezed/waxed/threaded/drawn in.  The I plucked way too much so I'll just draw the entire thing in eyebrow.  The I plucked everything and will draw two arches reminiscent of the St. Louis arches eyebrows, leaving the victim in a constant state of looking exceedingly surprised.  And finally, the eyebrows that are meticulously groomed yet unfortunately have resulted in their looking like two sperm meeting up right above the persons eyes and nose for lunch.

I can't understand how women of all ages have so little expertise and control over this relatively easy part of grooming.  It's not that tough, yet inevitably the majority of real women we see have flubbed this grooming detail up.  After all, most females have been plucking or waxing since their early teens. That's a lot of time and experience for perfecting the technique.

The next time that you're out and about, either walking down the street or through a shopping center, pay close attention to the women you see and their eyebrows.  You will see what I mean.  Asymmetry, of course, is always the biggest offender.  As are teenage girls, who should be given a break, as it is their experimental stage in the women's grooming game of life.  But you will notice there are a lot of otherwise beautiful women out there who just can't get this down.

If you happen to be amongst the few who can do eyebrows well, which is really relatively simple, and have nieces/cousins/daughters, for goodness sake help them out!  Do it when they're young, so they don't go through a lifetime of looking like a clown and being laughed at behind their backs!!  Trust me, they will be forever grateful! 

Haircuts

~~A Critique On Human Behavior~~

There is something peculiar I have come to notice in the past few months.  It is quite simple, but it represents a much larger tendency amongst people.  What, you ask?  Haircuts.  It seems that I am the only person that I notice complimenting people on getting their hair cut anymore.  It may seem small and insignificant, but let me explain.  People, men and women, get their hair cut to feel better about themselves, increase their self esteem, try to increase their attractiveness, put to rest an old phase, signify the start of a new phase, all types of reasons beyond the obvious "it was hanging in my eyes".  It isn't always easy to spot, especially if someone with 18 inch long hair gets 1/2 inch taken off.  But, more times than not, it is obvious.  Yet, I very rarely hear others saying anything to the owner of a new style.  I ALWAYS say something, unless, of course, it was a horribly done job that they are trying desperately to hide until it grows out.  But I always say "I see you got your hair cut, Scott/Jenny/whoever".  Always.  And, I always get a thank you, more times than not a surprised "thank you". 

Why?  Is it that difficult to say something kind that will take a grand total of ten seconds?  If you notice, why don't you compliment?  It just seems that people are so often preoccupied with their own lives, that they don't do something so simple as to give a person a simple compliment anymore.  Worse yet, they remember the one slight that they imagine you have done to them, forgetting the 100 things you have went out of your way, often times interrupting the flow of your own life, to do for them.  Words unsaid can sting just as badly as words said.  Often times...more. 

Thank you is not difficult.  People notice when you don't show gratitude.  Not that you are supposed to blather all over someone every time they throw you a nickel (and, unfortunately there are people that will do things for you, specifically to cash in on those strings that are attached).  But showing a little gratitude to someone who has went out of their way to do something for you is never a bad thing.  Thank you.  Or a nice note.  Anything.  But it seems that it's just too damn hard to do.  Or, it might be embarrassing.  Or, somebody else is doing/did more for you.  Or, who the hell knows.  But when ingratitude becomes the norm, expect people to start dropping out of your life.  Certain people will always be there to do things for you... for a price.  Usually you don't realize the price you are going to inevitably pay until it is too late.  But, believe me, you WILL pay that price.  But for that person standing back in the corner, who always complimented your haircut, always was there for you, and always gave what they could- they might not be there anymore.  Because when it gets to the point where you start feeling used, or worse yet put down, these people will disappear.  And, really, who can blame them?  Who wants to give, even if it is out of barely nothing, yet still give, and receive a virtual slap in the face for doing so?  Giving out of poverty means way more than giving out of wealth, with strings tied.  Usually it only takes once for the receiver to learn this lesson.  Unfortunately, not always. 

Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, everybody gets preoccupied with completely unimportant crap from time to time.  But when the day is done, what have you done for others vs. what you have done for yourself?  Have you done ANYTHING nice (with no strings attached) for anybody today?  Are your loyalties in the right place, or are they severely misplaced?  Do you make your own decisions, or do you let others' whims and attitudes make your decisions for you?  The hardest person in the world to face is always yourself.  Go stare at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes and tell yourself who YOU are.  Stumped?  Did you start out with "my name is x and I am a -occupation-".  Hint- YOU are not your occupation.  Unless of course you are an artist or a writer.  Then you most likely really do put YOU into your work.  But "My name is Bob and I am a Chemical Engineer"?   I feel sorry for you Bob.  You have no idea who you are or what life is all about.  And I am guessing that Bob doesn't notice when Jane gets a haircut. 

Next time you notice someone got a haircut, tell them they look nice.  Remember the people who have been there for you through thick or thin, even if you do think of them as losers or less than you.  They took out of THEIR life to add to YOUR life.  And don't shit on people.  It is very unappealing, and I guarantee that WHATEVER it is that happens, those people won't be around to let it happen a second time.  You have one shot at life.  You can either live it mad and reassessing all the wrongs you think have been done to you by her and him and them.  You will most likely die alone and grouchy.  Or you can lighten up, spread some happiness, and reap the benefits.

Thoughts...

A couple different thoughts.....

First off, when listing things you're interested in and activities you do on a social media, LinkedIn, etc. type site, is it really plausible to list an activity that you have never taken part in?  For example, if you're interested in Greek mythology, well obviously you can't have been to ancient Greece and have believed in or taken part in their mythology.  So, yes, you can have an interest in that- that makes sense.  But something like playing bocce ball or horseback riding on the beach, yet you've never played bocce ball or went horseback riding on the beach.  Kind of a case of trying hard to portray yourself as someone you wish you were.  Pretty cheesy, especially the older you get.

Second thought, I am so very glad I was born a natural leader.  Not just my astrological sign- that's too easy.  But I don't feel the need to impress others' whims and fancies. I may stand alone because of that, but at least I'm true to who I am. When a person says A, I'll most likely go B.  I don't like people telling me how to think, and more often than not will go completely against them.  Yes, I've cut off my nose to spite my face many times because of this.  But in a more mature manner (as it is becoming), I'm just plain glad I don't stoop to taking other people's bullshit.  I've seen what it does to other people, and they're lost.  I'm not lost.  I know right who and right where I am. 

Family

You know that saying that you can't pick your family?  There's a reason for that saying.  If some of these people weren't our family, there would never be a reason whatsoever to talk to them, befriend them, look their way, anything.
It might sound cold and harsh, but the attention (or rather lack of loving attention) received from some of these people, make the very word family an oxymoron.  Family.  Enemy.  The two words even sound similar.
And the invention of social media has put a particularly interesting swing into this arena.  You can tell somebody off- tell them exactly what you're thinking- and not actually 'talk' to them at all!  The greatest act of passive-aggressiveness ever invented.  You don't even have to be friends with the people, but by the constant snooping going back and forth that we all do on our enemies' pages, we get the picture loud and clear.
So, rather than act like a clown on Facebook- try as hard as possible to be somebody that I'm not, talk to people who I can't stand, and all the foolishness that goes along with being on Facebook, I've decided to stick to G+ where 98% of my friends are people I've never met (and actually have more feeling for than most of the people I know quite well on Facebook). 
I've also decided to start this blog, which is found quite easily, and where everybody has full access to everything I write.  You can hear clearly exactly what it is that I think, no blocking or muting necessary, no can't say this because A might hear this and tell B, and then C (who is blocked) will know. None of that foolishness.  I'm just saying what I think and if you want to snoop and get offended, go for it.  But I refuse to play the Facebook game any longer.  Thankfully G+ rarely stoops to that level, and if so, everyone's really a stranger anyway, so there are way less blown fuses and periods of silence contests.
So with that, Mary, your beautiful sister-in-law is out in California, where she's been for the last 11 years.  Why would she be in Dakota City at Allie's birthday party?  That would make no sense whatsoever! 
               ~Peace out, Sistahs & Bruthas~

Self

Our truest enemy
Much like our most devoted love
Have but one thing in common
They know who we are
Without the politically correct
Societal masks we wear
Trying ever so hard
To actually morph
Into this facade
But never
Ever
Succeeding

This crude raw knowledge
Is precisely
What sets the stage
For the immeasurable love
Or
Murderous hate
In which we feel
For those very few
Whom we know
Unmasked

As a forensic analyst knows
We leave traces
Cookies crumbs
Of our authentic self
In every thing we do
Every post
Every photo
Every comment
Every footstep

Tis better
To be authentic
All the time
Never having to turn
Off or on
If
You can be
THAT
Honest with yourself

If not
Keep wearing your societal mask
Your self imposed chastity belt
But do so
With the knowledge
That evidences of self
Are being scattered
Behind every move you make

Unexplained mystery

It never fails to amaze me when I am in a single stall bathroom, locked, and a person tries the door (might knock) and I say "Just a moment", and they continue to jiggle the doorknob and knock. Sometimes, several times.

I'm not going to disappear out of a secret false ceiling and keep the door locked to prevent you from using the bathroom.  Until you have seen me exit the bathroom from the door in which you have been manhandling (the ONLY door), it is still in use.  And if you happen to catch me in a particular mood, I just may sit there and play games on my phone for a very long time, while you stand there crossing your legs, incessantly jiggling the handle. How can somebody live to be 30/40/50 years old and this concept still perplexes them?!

            ~~HAPPY URINATING~~

$$

Money.  The truest indicator of how someone really feels about you that there is.  Relatives, friends, enemies, coworkers- everyone.  Amazing how quickly people can turn into forgetful, snotnosed pricks when the issue comes up. 

My advice?  If possible, don't EVER borrow a dime, nor borrow to someone a dime, if you want to stay on good terms with the person.  I would rather give a $10 bill to a guy on the corner holding a sign, whom I don't know and DON'T expect it back from than give to someone I know is going to "repeatedly conveniently forget" to pay it back.  It is always in the back of your/their heads.

The shit is evil.  Just what it does to people alone is sufficient evidence.

Hospital crazies

We have been in the hospital going on two weeks, due to my husband's aforementioned brown recluse spider bite.  In the last 48 hours, we have been moved rooms twice- meaning, of course, that everything else gets messed up- his meds, his meals, his wound care, everything.

They are supposed to do a fairly extensive wound care process 2x daily, every day.  It was suppose to have begun last Friday, March 27th.  It JUST began on Tuesday, March 31st.  So... 5 days in which he was supposed to receive wound care, he did not, due to poor communication skills and an overall lackluster work ethic amongst the nurses. 

In fact, yesterday they never proceeded to do his wound care at all!  A few times they peeked in and said "okay, I'll be right back and we'll get this started", never to reappear.  So finally at 9:00pm, since the supplies were already in the room, I did it.  The physician never bothered doing his rounds yesterday, either.  Yet, I'm quite certain that we will be billed for yesterday's care (or rather, lack of) on an equal basis as we have been billed for each other day. 

My husband, if at all possible health wise, is ready to get out of here ASAP.  I agree with him.

           ~~HAPPY FULL MOON~~

Great lyrics.....

..........And I feel something so right
by doing the wrong thing
                  and
I feel something so wrong
by doing the right thing
I could lie, couldn't I, couldn't I?
Every thing that kills me
makes me feel alive..........

   One Republic
~Counting Stars~