On Eyebrows

One thing that has stymied me most of my adult life has always been women's eyebrows.  It is unbelievable to me how women spend so much time on their face, hair, clothing, weight management, etc., yet inevitably fail when it comes to eyebrow maintenance.

Take 100 random women (not celebrities, of course, because they can pay people to do their eyebrows professionally and correct) and focus solely on their eyebrows.  You can see how eyebrows either accentuate and frame a face beautifully or take a face and make it look comical, almost clownish. There are several examples of bad eyebrows.  Of course, the unibrow, which thankfully isn't seen very often on women.  The Spock eyebrow, where too much has been taken off both edges of each brow and each eye is left with a centimeter of hair above it.  The angular brow which actually has geometric angles tweezed/waxed/threaded/drawn in.  The I plucked way too much so I'll just draw the entire thing in eyebrow.  The I plucked everything and will draw two arches reminiscent of the St. Louis arches eyebrows, leaving the victim in a constant state of looking exceedingly surprised.  And finally, the eyebrows that are meticulously groomed yet unfortunately have resulted in their looking like two sperm meeting up right above the persons eyes and nose for lunch.

I can't understand how women of all ages have so little expertise and control over this relatively easy part of grooming.  It's not that tough, yet inevitably the majority of real women we see have flubbed this grooming detail up.  After all, most females have been plucking or waxing since their early teens. That's a lot of time and experience for perfecting the technique.

The next time that you're out and about, either walking down the street or through a shopping center, pay close attention to the women you see and their eyebrows.  You will see what I mean.  Asymmetry, of course, is always the biggest offender.  As are teenage girls, who should be given a break, as it is their experimental stage in the women's grooming game of life.  But you will notice there are a lot of otherwise beautiful women out there who just can't get this down.

If you happen to be amongst the few who can do eyebrows well, which is really relatively simple, and have nieces/cousins/daughters, for goodness sake help them out!  Do it when they're young, so they don't go through a lifetime of looking like a clown and being laughed at behind their backs!!  Trust me, they will be forever grateful!